Being Sick and Finding Superman

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The last few days I’ve been battling an infection of some kindβ€” with a sore throat, cough and fatigue. Rest assured, I’m definitely on the mend now, though, thanks to a round of antibiotics, and my nebulizer and Cough Assist machines. Three cheers for respiratory gadgets!

Even though I’m an avid reader (I’ve been known to read 50 to 75 books a year), when I’m under the weather I actually don’t do much reading at all. Rather, I like to sit like a hacking, sniffling lump while I watch long movies. And when I say long, I mean really long movies. The kind of movies involving far away wars, people who sing, Nazis, nuns and, of course, Julie Andrews. If you haven’t gotten the hint that I’m talking about The Sound of Music, I’m not sure if we could ever be friends. I’m serious. That movie is the best movie of all time… I say that with utter certainty. If you dare to disagree me with me, I will run you over. This is not an empty threat.

Anyway, I love to watch this film when I’m sick. It’s long, too, which makes it an especially good choice for long afternoons of lazy, snuffly sickiness. Plus, if all that weren’t enough, Captain VonTrapp is super dreamy. When I was young and home sick from school, my mom used to pop the movie in the VCR. It would keep me occupied, and out of her hair, for at least 174 minutes. Any mother would tell you that this fact alone would make that VCR cassette tape worth its weight in gold. And, as soon as I was old enough to operate the VCR remote control, I would repeatedly rewind the tape to watch the marionette puppet scene over and over again. If you don’t know the scene I’m talking about, you haven’t seen this movie. And, if you haven’t seen this movie, well… you know what will happen to you next.

I think it’s safe to say that I have seen this movie over 50 times. This is not an exaggeration. It’s at the top of my list of Movies to Watch When I’m Sick. Other flicks on the list include: Mary Poppins, the Harry Potter movies, musicals written by Rodgers and Hammerstein, and any film starring a Hepburn (either Audrey or Katharine).

This week, I needed to find a long movie to make this sickness pass faster. There was a free preview of HBO, so I checked out the guide on my television. I found Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice… which was an impressive 183 minutes long. This was doable. I’m not generally a fan of superhero movies, but I have a decided weakness for Henry Cavillβ€” the hunk that plays Superman. So, it seemed like a good choice.

But, it wasn’t too far into the movie that I began to doubt the merit of my selection. Through the fog of antibiotics and decongestant, I watched car chases, tall buildings being felled, and two men wearing capes fighting each other. This last one had me nearly turning off the television. Batman and Superman are both good guys. Under no reasonable storyline would they be at odds. End of story. With a groggy voice, and no one around to hear me, I actually yelled at the TV (okay, maybe I squeaked), “WHO WROTE THIS MOVIE, ANYWAY? WHAT IS EVEN GOING ON? WHY AM I WATCHING THIS? HOLY SHIT, HENRY CAVILL IS HOT.”

Next time I’m sick, I’ll just stick to Julie Andrews.

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