To binge or not to binge

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When you hear the word “binge” a certain image comes to mind. A troubled person indulging in large quantities of alcohol, food or drugs. In my case, it would be the pumpkin pie I obsessively eat from October to December each year.

The word “binge” actually means “to soak a wooden vessel.” It was important to binge a boat before sailing it, otherwise your voyage was doomed before it began – much like the Titanic, the Lusitania and Donald Trump’s presidency.

On a personal note, I actually know this to be true. My grandparents had an old wooden ski boat from the 1950s. If it wasn’t soaked or “binged” properly before taking it out on the lake, its ability to float was in question – making it a very stylish death trap.

Once, when I was 9, I was sitting next to my uncle John as he drove the boat. As the wooden boat started leaking in the middle of the lake, he threw me a teasing grin and remarked that the boat might sink. I still don’t think he was completely kidding.

In the mid-19th century, the clever chaps at Oxford decided to give the word another meaning. They began to refer to their alcohol-soaked shenanigans as “binges.” Thus, the word was granted new life.

Today, a modern use of the term has entered the English vernacular. It has nothing to do with booze, drugs or even carbohydrates. It’s about watching TV. Specifically, it’s about consuming numerous episodes in a row of a single TV show – for hours. Binging is sitting in front of your TV or iPad for so long that your pants begin to fuse to your butt.

Don’t pretend like you’ve never done it. The advent of the DVR and online video streaming services like Netflix have made this all the more common. It’s now socially acceptable to ignore life and sit in your pajamas all weekend and watch endless episodes of Grey’s Anatomy.

I recently discovered a great show on Netflix – BBC’s “Call the Midwife.” It has everything I love in a TV show – laughs, tears and snooty British accents.

To be frank, “Call the Midwife” is the reason you haven’t seen one of my columns in the Irrigator lately. A few weeks ago, the paper called me to see if I was available to write a column for that week. I lied and told them I was “super, super busy.” In reality, I wanted to scream: “LEAVE ME ALONE UNTIL I’M DONE WITH MY NETFLIX BINGE!”

Like most binging, I’m quite certain that this behavior isn’t healthy. It’s not wise to drink a whole bottle of vodka or eat an entire package of Oreos. So, it’s probably not a good idea to watch so much TV that your eyeballs begin to hurt.

But it’s so, so much fun.

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